Interview with a 5-year-old… Doberman

Remember a few years ago when the “interview with a 5-year-old” meme was running about social media? People asked their little kids questions about their mothers.

Well, I don’t have kids, so I obliged with an interview with Laevatein. And after totally forgetting it, I just stumbled across it again, so here it is.

(Why should kids get to have all the fun?  Here are my ideas of Laev’s answers to this interview.  She is my youngest dog.)

This is a cute idea. Copy this note, ask your child the questions and write them down exactly how they respond.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?

“Put something in your mouth,” or, “Get out of there!”

2. How old is your mommy?

Older than me but not as old as Shakespeare.

3. How tall is your mommy?

Her face is totally within reach.

obligatory embarrassing puppy photo

4. What is mommy’s favorite thing to do?

Work on that stupid glowing box she can carry around the house.  The one with all the clicky sounds that aren’t MY click sound.  It must be her favorite thing because she does it all the time.  She says she’s talking about training and stuff, but it’s not like real training.

5. What does your mommy do when you’re not around?

Goes interesting places without me.  BORING!!

6. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?

Me.  Anytime I see Mommy the focus of a lot of people, she has me with her.  This can’t be coincidence.

Laev in her first conformation class, learning to stack right in the ring

7. What is your mommy really good at?

She always knows where the bad guy is hiding, even if she pretends she doesn’t.  That’s pretty good for someone with so bad a sense of smell.

8. What is your mommy not very good at?

Running.  I have never seen anyone so slow.  Even Inky can sometimes go faster than her.

9. What does your mommy do for her job?

Cheats on me with other dogs.

10. What’s your mommy’s favorite food?

She never shares the chocolate.

11. What makes you proud of your mommy?

She is so good at catching on to some things, like when I want to go out or when I am more clever than another dog.  She can listen when I come up with a better idea of doing stuff.  And she always keeps her promises.

15. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?

I don’t like cartoons.  Most cartoon dogs are ugly.  If Mom were a cartoon, she’d be two-dimensional and no smells and boring.

16. What do you and your mommy do together?

Sometimes we go tracking, which is where Mom asks me to show her where she walked and dropped stuff, because her memory isn’t so good.  Sometimes we do obedience, which is like dancing with a memory test.  Sometimes, and this is my favorite, we go to find the bad guy and I get to catch him.  Mom has weird rules about that, making me work harder to get to chase him, but it’s okay because it’s so much fun.

17. How are you and your mommy the same?

We like doing lots of stuff and we like catching the bad guy.  We put a lot of energy into what we like to do.

18. How are you and your mommy different?

Is this a trick question?  She’s missing two feet and a tail, and she’s totally handicapped in the senses.  And she has opposable thumbs.

19. How do you know your mommy loves you?

She teaches me enough so that she can take me fun places and play fun games.  She pets me.  She gives me real food like I’m supposed to eat, not made of grain like chickens eat.  Also she lets me on the couch.

20. Where is your mommy’s favorite place to go?

The car.  Places in the car.  I don’t know where the car goes when I’m not telling her about tracking or training places.  Maybe she gets lost without me?

About Laura VanArendonk Baugh CPDT-KA KPACTP

Laura was born at a very young age and started playing with animals immediately after. She never grew out of it, and it looks to be incurable. She is the author of the bestselling FIRED UP, FRANTIC, AND FREAKED OUT. She owns Canines In Action, Inc. in Indianapolis, speaks at workshops and seminars, and is also a Karen Pryor Academy faculty member.
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