What does your pet want for Christmas?
We asked Shakespeare and Laevatein, who agreed to provide this guest post. You’d do well to read it; how often do you get to see a dog write in iambic pentameter? (That will be Shakespeare, of course.)
And down below you’ll find a Linky for the related blog hop and a contest for a $50 gift card. Check it out!
Hi, everybody! It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog post, but I still remember how. I never forget things. Ever. Even when Mom thinks I have, or wishes I would.
For Christmas, I want a SQUIRREL. Okay, yeah, sometimes I find my own, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an awesome Christmas present. SQUIRRELS are never out of style or tacky or anything. They’re great!
Or, wait! I want a DINOSAUR. Yes, a dinosaur! What? Nuh-uh, can so! Mom brought me one once because she is the Bestest Mom Ever. See, I have a picture!
See? Told you. BESTEST MOM EVER.
Anyway, a dinosaur. Or a squirrel. Or, DINO-SQUIRREL!
…Yeah, I could totally take it.
Mom says her Christmas present will be having The Book done. The Book is about me, you know. Well, partly. Mom says I helped her write it. Mom says that after teaching me to stay in eighths of a second — seriously, I wanted to work, not sit still! but she explained that sitting still got me to work faster — that she was better qualified to help other special dogs who sometimes get too excited, and dogs who get upset or afraid.
See, she thinks I’m special. She’s so smart to see that I am. And she is so clicker-savvy, too; I can get to her click me lots. And apparently she can write, too; I don’t usually read her blog, except when I’m writing it of course, but she says The Book has gotten really good feedback, all “very accessible” and “like the reader has a consulting trainer standing at her shoulder.”
I’m not sure what all that is, but I think “good feedback” is human talk for clicks and treats. Anyway, I’m just gonna leave this here: sample chapters.
OH! I think I’ve thought of something else I want for Christmas!
I’m taking Santa down and taking ALL the toys! That’s me practicing with Chad of Posidog in Ohio. One of my most favorite games is finding and stopping the Bad Guy, and Chad is the Bad Guy I play with most often right now. He’s pretty cool.
Okay, so to sum up, for Christmas I want a squirrel, a dinosaur, a dino-squirrel, and Ringsport Santa. And anything else that sounds fun. Okay, enough talking; what are we going to do now?
Some years ago, my Doberman Shakespeare wrote this letter to Santa Dobe as part of a list-serv. Here is his letter, a bit dated (Shakespeare is now 12 and may not quite believe in Santa Dobe anymore), but still fun.
Dear Santa Dobe,
This year I have been oh so very good
(although there were some things misunderstood)
and now I’m writing you this little note
and trying best I can to not much gloat.
See, Mom says that she’s very proud of me,
says I have been the best that I can be.
‘Cuz just this year I’ve added six whole sets
of letters to my name (against all bets!).
And so I think I don’t need much from you
Mom’s happy games and treats will surely do.
I’m glad to be in this home — number four!
What do I need? How could I ask for more?
There are some things I’d love if you could bring
to make this Christmas time all full of giving.
I’d like to mention sev’ral items you could
please spread around where they could do the most good
Some fuzzy toys for all the no-home dogs,
and maybe just a few of those treat logs.
And most of all I wish that they could see
somebody come to get them, just like me.
Sis Chaucer’s doing really, really well
with Courage and Forbearance – elixir spell?
If that was you, then please, sir, keep it up!
‘Cuz she is now a much, much nicer pup.
I really miss my buddy Dante so;
he left us this past June, and yet I know
that sometimes he still makes my Mommy cry.
Please, Santa, help her see he didn’t die.
He is alive in all those stories she tells
of “Demon Dog” and all his seven hells
of puppy madness, to her listening classes.
He’s even now still teaching lads and lasses.
And if you do have room to bring for me
a squirrel who just cannot climb a tree
I’d really, really love it! but if not
a fuzzy squirrel toy would still hit the spot.
Well, SantaDobe, I now can see it’s time
to end this letter written all in rhyme
and so I’ll sign off now, ol’ Dog Saint Nick –
It sure was hard to write this in iambic!
(Santa Dobe could, according to list-serv tradition, deliver Elixirs such as Patience and Calmness to needy dogs; it is to this that Shakespeare refers when he thanks Santa Dobe for helping his housemate Chaucer.
Also, Shakespeare came “un-trainable” to our house, his fourth home in less than a year, and in that year earned six titles. He went on to earn about 26 or so in total. So who’s un-trainable, the dog or the people who gave up on him?)
And now, check out other posts about what pets want for Christmas, and enter the Rafflecopter below! Merry Christmas!